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"It all started with the age of 12 reaching its number. A new system of categorized grouping for the said primary classes.

As we were given classes, I was given a whole new chapter that would soon be recognized in the distant future. Blue “Biru” was my new branding for the new age era of primary school endings.

With that, I met her. Boggled up in my own circle, she would be my one person that I can talk to freely without having to be some one else. Each passing day of that time, recess would be my time to look forward upon for that’s where we would always hang about and talk and amuse each other (or rather id be talking and yapping while she giggled and laughed while listening) at our special meeting point. Simple place to meet, with so many memories, and not to mention activities for that particular place. A simple historical monument event would be the famous "polis and tepp”. Yes indeed it was the tree of many roots uplifted from the ground where I would constantly play on and talk to her while making a fool out of my self.

We shared it all in the same Blue branding theme. We had and still have the same bunch of friends. Till one fine day, I just had to do the inevitable. I was in that state of finding my self very much drawn to her and wanted to venture further. She, being my one and only bestest friend and only friend who is a girl (my very first to the exact); I wanted to be more than that. So as a kid, one would always seek advice from others to help solidify his decision and bring to the right passage way of light.

A letter it was then.

A letter that made me spend hours and days thinking of what to write and how not to make my self sound stupid. So with that, I took all my courage and dignity in this one letter, and gave it to her, hoping that I was redeemed with the same feeling of how we are and how we could be together.

Many hearts and other shapes of ‘artistic’ decorations plus words that describe how I felt and hoped that we could be were expressed.

The next was just to find out that I was left in silence.

Wondering what had gone wrong, I tried to make out what I did wrong or said wrong. But soon after, I realized that it was maybe the wrong move after all. Silence was my theme from her after and it kept going throughout the years of knowing or even seeing each other pass by.

However, even as years passed, I still tried my very best to communicate and start a conversation with her but it seems that all I got was a cold feedback or just a rebuttal in dispute. I smiled and pondered yet again about this major silence. I guess at that time, she really hated me for that one single letter that lead to this all."

Counting 13 years, backward.

That would be when i was just 12 years old.

You can ask any of my old old friends/family/relatives on how grumpy i was when i was still a kid. I barely smile, let alone laugh. Throughout my primary school years, i never fancied any person from the opposite sex. I SORTA despise them. I thought they were cocky, mean and rude. Therefore, i prefer NOT to mingle with them unless of course, if i had to.

I do not hate them though. Dislike.

However, when i was 12, i was sent to the "Biru" class. There, i made new classmates :) The days went on as usual. Spending loads of my time with the "DESS" (Danielle, Eleanor, Sherlene & Sharon. HAHAHAHA) members despite being placed in different classes.

I can't recall when it started but i remember that i got to know with one of the boys. Can't remember how it all started, when or where. All i know is that we just clicked. Often during recess we would hang out below that big old treewhich sudah kana tabang now.fck. or in "astaka". Just talk and talk and talk.

Well.. he's the one who usually did all the talking and i would just listen and giggle occasionally.

I could still remember vividly of his side parted hair, black digitali think it was Casio watch and those pink rosy cheeks. A bubbly person he was :)

Days went by, i remember we grew closer and closer. It felt so nice to have a close friend from the opposite gender who you can just talk to. Never in my mind that he would feel the same way. I thought he was just being friendly, like usual. But it didn't matter. I aprreciated the friendship alot.

One fine day, i received a letter, placed neatly in between the pages of my text book. And i knew whom it was from.

I still can't understand why i was a bit furious and burnt the letter, never knowing the content inside.

From that fateful day, i was never to look at him again. I had such hatred towards him, which i don't understand why. I refuse to even look at him.

The bestfriend never uttered a word, just puzzled at my drastic reaction.

And so, we never talk again.

.xx.