.

"It all started with the age of 12 reaching its number. A new system of categorized grouping for the said primary classes.

As we were given classes, I was given a whole new chapter that would soon be recognized in the distant future. Blue “Biru” was my new branding for the new age era of primary school endings.

With that, I met her. Boggled up in my own circle, she would be my one person that I can talk to freely without having to be some one else. Each passing day of that time, recess would be my time to look forward upon for that’s where we would always hang about and talk and amuse each other (or rather id be talking and yapping while she giggled and laughed while listening) at our special meeting point. Simple place to meet, with so many memories, and not to mention activities for that particular place. A simple historical monument event would be the famous "polis and tepp”. Yes indeed it was the tree of many roots uplifted from the ground where I would constantly play on and talk to her while making a fool out of my self.

We shared it all in the same Blue branding theme. We had and still have the same bunch of friends. Till one fine day, I just had to do the inevitable. I was in that state of finding my self very much drawn to her and wanted to venture further. She, being my one and only bestest friend and only friend who is a girl (my very first to the exact); I wanted to be more than that. So as a kid, one would always seek advice from others to help solidify his decision and bring to the right passage way of light.

A letter it was then.

A letter that made me spend hours and days thinking of what to write and how not to make my self sound stupid. So with that, I took all my courage and dignity in this one letter, and gave it to her, hoping that I was redeemed with the same feeling of how we are and how we could be together.

Many hearts and other shapes of ‘artistic’ decorations plus words that describe how I felt and hoped that we could be were expressed.

The next was just to find out that I was left in silence.

Wondering what had gone wrong, I tried to make out what I did wrong or said wrong. But soon after, I realized that it was maybe the wrong move after all. Silence was my theme from her after and it kept going throughout the years of knowing or even seeing each other pass by.

However, even as years passed, I still tried my very best to communicate and start a conversation with her but it seems that all I got was a cold feedback or just a rebuttal in dispute. I smiled and pondered yet again about this major silence. I guess at that time, she really hated me for that one single letter that lead to this all."

Counting 13 years, backward.

That would be when i was just 12 years old.

You can ask any of my old old friends/family/relatives on how grumpy i was when i was still a kid. I barely smile, let alone laugh. Throughout my primary school years, i never fancied any person from the opposite sex. I SORTA despise them. I thought they were cocky, mean and rude. Therefore, i prefer NOT to mingle with them unless of course, if i had to.

I do not hate them though. Dislike.

However, when i was 12, i was sent to the "Biru" class. There, i made new classmates :) The days went on as usual. Spending loads of my time with the "DESS" (Danielle, Eleanor, Sherlene & Sharon. HAHAHAHA) members despite being placed in different classes.

I can't recall when it started but i remember that i got to know with one of the boys. Can't remember how it all started, when or where. All i know is that we just clicked. Often during recess we would hang out below that big old treewhich sudah kana tabang now.fck. or in "astaka". Just talk and talk and talk.

Well.. he's the one who usually did all the talking and i would just listen and giggle occasionally.

I could still remember vividly of his side parted hair, black digitali think it was Casio watch and those pink rosy cheeks. A bubbly person he was :)

Days went by, i remember we grew closer and closer. It felt so nice to have a close friend from the opposite gender who you can just talk to. Never in my mind that he would feel the same way. I thought he was just being friendly, like usual. But it didn't matter. I aprreciated the friendship alot.

One fine day, i received a letter, placed neatly in between the pages of my text book. And i knew whom it was from.

I still can't understand why i was a bit furious and burnt the letter, never knowing the content inside.

From that fateful day, i was never to look at him again. I had such hatred towards him, which i don't understand why. I refuse to even look at him.

The bestfriend never uttered a word, just puzzled at my drastic reaction.

And so, we never talk again.

.xx.

Honestly?

I am very happy now. Not that i wasn't happy before but yeah, i am happy AGAIN :)

Before that, just a quick shoutout to Mr. Mike Jermaine James Imbayan, SELAMAT HARI DI BERANAKAN! Hope you had a blessed and asskickin one this year and years to come.

Okay, back on track.

The fact that i am sincerely happy can be seen through my blog post itself.

I post less and less alreadydon't you think so?

The bestfriend had been keeping my family and i busy. He makes me feel as if my sibling(s) has a new brother, my parents have another son and my relatives to have new found relative. While me, having my very own partner in crimeand not so crime ones :)

I feel truly blessed for the past relationships despite the negative result coming out from it hehe. Because we both truly believe that SHYTES HAPPEN FOR NOT ONE, BUT MAYBE A DOZEN MORE REASONS :)

PRECAUTIONARY: Next post gon' be a slight longer than the usual.

.xx.

The Shining One(s).

It's good to know that you have someone (or few close trustable people) whom you can turn to especially when in doubts.

I know I have found mine.

See, i admit that i suck when it comes to maintaining friendship. It is my own norm of not doing so, not putting the blame on anyone nor time.

It is bitter to know that there are times whereby people whom you (suppose) to trust, disappoint you just so badly. It's a good thing that i always have the tendency to listen to my inner voice and found it to be of advantage to be a quiet and suck-it-all-in person ;) My stuff is safe with me :p

True friends are the ones who will stand by your side and support you when you're down and be extremely happy for you when you're really happy.

Whereby some just disappoint me to the core. Good thing shytes happen, now i can spot the shining ones easily :)

I love you bunch to bits!

So It Shall Stay There :)

Just as planned & mentioned on my previous status in FB.

Thanx to Luther,

...and so it shall stay there :)

.xx.

Kemaskini.

Ignore the said title. Saja ja.

An update after almost 5months. Not bad, for a (used to) chronic blog jotter.

There's so much to tell but couldn't determine which one should be told first, middle nor last. Maybe next time. Yes, i'm a big fat procrastinator :)

Looking forward for another inked skin. Should i get it along my back bone? Say them, it hurts alot. Which made me even more curious. Let's just hope the artist is confident & experienced enough *crosses fingers & toes*.

Had / have the most awesomest 180 days by far. Happy half-a-year in advance, Adidas head. I is finking of you. Heh.

Til next jot.

.xx.

Blissful 32nd.

Just a short update.

Had the best family dinner last night in conjuction of Mom&Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary.

It wasn't because of fancy restaurant or fancy food, but it was because of the people who were present there.

Ah beng was there because amazingly Mom had invited him too. The invitation itself was a suprise to me. :)

After dinner, went for Shrek premier credit goes to Jojo for getting those tickets.

Went for a quick drive to spend few minutes together before heading home :)

I like.

Happy 32nd Anniversary mommy daddy & praying that many more to come!

.xx.

Happy Birthday Gorgeous :)

Hey babe.

I know it's kinda late to wish you but i guess it's better than nothing, kan? :p

I really hope you had and will be having more wonderful & blessed birthdays.

I love you for you and wouldn't want to see you down.

I know i am not the best of buddies; being there 24/7, hangs around everyday, call or even text constantly, but i just want you to know that i am always gon' be here when and IF you need a shoulder to cry on.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY again, Ms. Lim :)

.xx.

Sneakin' Few Minutes Off From My Workdesk.

And so i've been bombarded with questions lately, pertaining to certain stuff.

I knew that the i will get those kinda feedbacks. I love you for your advises and concerns. I have heard alot about it too but being the typical me, i would prefer for me to see it first hand before jumping into conclusions.

I've told you that this time it is slight different compared to the rest. Unlike the rest, i opted to follow my heart and never my head. This time, it's both. I believe the formula is working things out, and it takes two to tango or hiphop, salsa, watever one desire lol!

Whatever the outcome may be, everything will be just fine :)

.xx.

Otak Berkulut.

I promised myself not to complaint and nag about it.

But it is so effin hard to do a 2-person job.

Oh and to make things worst, this coming Saturday my colleague will be on leave (i don't blame you for taking leave cos you should :p ) and guess what? I need to fill in for her. So great laa. Doin a 3-person job. How purrfect!

But it's okay. I'll try to pull it and will only nag about it if i was too effin stressed up (WHICH i can already feel the stress is building up right now).

I should sing. I should listen to music and cut-off the phoneline so that the phone will stop ringing and seal my boss' door so he won't be able to walk through the door and ask me to do (relevant & random) stuff. And i shall have the power to freeze & unfreeze time whenever i want so that i will have ample time to do my job & chill at the same time. I would love to go back to childhood years too. Ok, that was random. Wtf.

Wish me luck on my interview on the 28th. Don't forget to cross your fingers.

If i succeed, i shall leave.

There.

I just complaint & nagged. Gaahh!

.xx.