I Got Talent.

I heart: "Wei. man say pun ilovyo?"
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I actually went thru my old blog in FS. (Yes. the whole posts dated from 3 years back! LOL!) When suddenly one of the many posts i've "abandoned" so long finally caught my attention.

Maybe, just maybe mom and dad should've enrolled me into one of that special schools where they sharpen the skills of "gifted" children, like me. Coz i think i'm one of them.

PSYCHIC.

whoa! i know.

Below is part of the content i've extracted from that particular post. Please take note that this whole scenario happened 3 years back, June 8th 2005 to be exact. Jadi jangan terbingung k. Thank you.

"Ahh…i’ve always got this question stuck in my head..in the previous post i mentioned that i’ve found someone right??..well there’s no doubt about that..but..why do i feel so…insecure yet i know that i am secure with him?…like maybe will i lost him not only as a partner but as a dear friend in the future??..what if things don’t work-out like the way i(we) planned?…since i’ve got him,i feel so relieved but at the same time wonder a lot..alotta questions popped in my mind every single day..."

"...what IF this is just a phase?what IF this is all temporary?…i would hate myself for that…that’s why i am not really into commitment…afraid of gettin hurt..afraid of hurting the person u cared the most..afraid of doin’ wrong..or maybe afraid of LOSING him/her?..aarrgghh…hate it when this happens.."

The highlighted parts, have already happened. Heh. See, told you i've got talent.

Readin' what i've written years back caused me to reminisce of all the decisions i've made and taken throughout my short and very little encounter in relationship matters, throughout my life so far.

Came to think of it, semua sia yg minta clash ni. Of course on different grounds laa. Ndakan sama right?

BUT.

One thing for sure, it was never because of a third party okay. Just wanna be clear on that.

I guess, i am the one who is afraid of commitments after all huh? If this is true, then i shouldn't rush things. Somehow, i have the feeling i got talent remember? that i'd do the same thing i do "best" all over again; hurting people i care. *sighs*

I'm gonna take one step at a time this time.

Hey cupid. panah ngam2 ba next time.

.xx.