Tired of Your Game :(

Smile
by: Tamia

Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me truely loved me yes, i learned
Awhile ago that kind of thing it never happens for me, and so i go around and just pretend love
Is not for me i play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they wont see that
U never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, Lord know its killing me

[Chorus:]
So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok im
Laughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my
Face...on my face singing, la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa

Sometimes i sit at home by the phone hopin he might call me but he dont call me but then i
Realize dreams come true arent for girls like me not like me, and so i go around with my head
Up like it aint no thing and when the boys around with all my friends im into other things cuz
U never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, lord knows its killing
Me

[Chorus:]
So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok im
Laughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my
Face...on my face oooh

Its not easy (thing to do) sometimes its hard to (face the truth) its not the life that i
Would choose but what else can i do if he dont love me no if he dont want me im not about to
Sit around let myself go (gooooo)

[Chorus:]
So i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok im
Laughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my
Face...on my face singing, la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa ill keep singing la la la la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa ill keep singing la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa ill keep singing la la la-la la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa

p.s: I'll give up, pretend & smile.

.xx.

Dreading What I Want.

"wants dia tu sepa?"

That question i purposedly left it unanswered.

For me to know, for you to find out yea as if you didn't already know. ppfftt~!

Anyhoots, the time stamp shows it's already almost 4am and i'm still wide awake.

I sense some hungry pangs but decided to just ignore it, at least for the time being laa haha.

Went out with Kuya just now after a good 3 years of not meeting! and had a good long chat with her friends as well at one of the mamak's in IP.

Chatted with Mr. S remember this guy? LOL in ym for a bit. It's been dinosaur ages since we last chatted gitu lama. Twas good tho'. Good ol' times some might say.

Our plan of movie month is starting soon. Can't wait! wootwoot~!

Okaylaa, i'm off now!

byebye, people.
stiteswellsdreams, you.

.xx.

May.

I don't know how to say it, but am feeling a bit sebak after the brief conversation just now.

:(

Anyhoots, tho' am feeling a bit sad/down (which i don't really know why. Maybe it's because of the thought of 'losing' someone?), i honestly am happy for you :)

You go do the right thing! You got my support, whether or not anda sedar all these while :)


p.s: Plan for tonight macam has been cancelled ja ni. So, guess i'll be catching movie(s) again. LOL.

p.p.s: May, is approaching very soon. Trust me, skijap ja tu :(

.xx.

Flown Away & Long Gone.

The butterflies i had previously have flown away. My bad for thinking that they were meant to stay.

Thanx to you nonetheless for making me feel all ticklish once again :)

Anyhoots, i just came back from watching Ong Bak 2 with sis Karen and some friends.

Was supposed to join the ging tonight to Rumba but i just had to pass like last night as well, sorry! because i don't feel like partying...for the time being.

Went to watch late night movie (Underworld: Rise of The Lycans) at 1B last night. Regardless of what people said about that movie, i think twas quite good. The story is a flashback of the previous Underworld which the HOT Kate Beckinsale berlakon.

Berbalik kepada Ong Bak 2, hmmm..wasn't bad as well although i fancy Ong Bak 1 more. I probably wouldn't have watched it if it wasn't because of si Wawai minta kawan pi pasar malam pilipin to get gelang-gelang for his friends/colleagues in the West. Alasan dia, mau prumpuan tolong pilih cos he's clueless (and it was proven to be sooo true!).

Oh! a guy will always be a guy. LOL.

Can't wait to watch movies in February! Banyaaaak yang besh!

Bah k laa, i better get some sleep now. I reckon it's gonna be a long and tiring day tomorrow(today) -____-"


p.s: "..jap, me berdansa nih.."
Oh sangat kiut! (^__^)

.xx.

Butterflies & Lubdub.

It shouldn't be like this. I mean, since when?

Bukan first time jumpa/nampak dia pun. Baaaanyak kali sudah.

BUT.

Again, WHY did i feel different just now? I can feel butterflies fluttering in my tummy and it tickles tickles me.

It's ticklish :)

Even my heart went 'lubdublubdub' on me. Demmet.

WHY IS THAT?

Please please please don't tell me what i think it is.

.xx.

NY's Resolution?

(While waiting for Girl to arrive and hit the club with the rest of the bunch)

I really shouldn't be blogging about this...anymore.

Not after making a promise to myself ada new year resolution lagi tuu adeyh.

Why is it that i can fall for someone whom i know doesn't feel the same? Tapi tepa..itu mimang perkara biasa kan? LOL.

Tapi,

Why do i hate the person whom i love to have around me? Lawak kan? Hmm.

I thought i moved on so well already by then. I guessed i was wrong. Not entirely wrong, partially maybe.

I am so positive of that because just a few minutes ago i asked myself,

"Why am i not feeling all 'YEAY' for tonight's plan?"

I can hear that little voice inside of me saying,

"Coz he ain't around :("

Jadi apalaa maksud tu? Astagaaa. *smacks head*

Okies. Better be gettin' ready now. Girl is on her way.

p.s: It's really hard to actually hate someone you feel the total opposite of, no matter how much you tried convincing yourself. It's just a matter of time (hopefully).

.xx.

Gong Xi Fatt Chai!

It's never too late to wish all the celebrants (and non-celebrants) GONG XI FATT CHAI!!

I just got back from kampung which is in Ranau.

It's been awhile since we, the cousins hungout and had fun; gambling/talking/laughing/chatting and especially goofy-ing!! i have the goofiest cousins, like for real!

It's feels like you're always 10 or less when hanging out with them. Seeemuaa dari tuuuaaa sampai muda will act sangat kebudak-budakan, and yes kami sedar and yes, we still mimick the whole act. Macam disease baaa...Extremely hard not to join along LOL.

Anyhoots, i think imma have my own sweet time dulu ni. Plan on getting a dress with si Girl but she's still in Tenghilan. Guess i should cancel my plan then.

Or should i?? LMFAO.

GONG XI FATT CHAI again people! *winks*

p.s: jo, thanx for the chat last night, u really made me feel all good :) i laf u! and you too jane *chuckles*

.xx.

Days Fu*ked Up.

It's hard to please everyone :(

It's hard to keep it all inside, try to bottled them nicely with colourful ribbons around it, fingers crossed that everything will eventually go away A.S.A.P :(

After last night's "joke" which had slowly turned out to be disappointment and heartache, today's happenings are just thrice the shit.

I can't handle even the silliest jokes like i always do.

I seriously feel that i am emotionally unstable.

I don't know why but i just brokedown. I wanna go far away :(

Sit and just cry my eye-socket out.

Both yesterday and today are just too much! :(

For once, i really feel unappreciated & lost :(


p.s: I hope your days are better you guys. I seriously do.

.xx.

:)

I'm happy :)

I mean, not that happy (maybe i am!), i'm just glad my day's a lil' brighter compared to yesterday.

I guess i am happy for the time being after all.

There it goes again. It tickles tickles me *chuckles*

p.s: Thanx for willingly acting goofy with me. I had good time!

Thank you, you.

.xx.

Oh Boy.

I apologize for failing to update my blog, not as often as i used to. sorry especially kat ngko, ara. aku tau ko bengang kan? siap nak suh aku close account jek. LMAO.

I went out with"babes" just now. I agreed to accompany him for dinner though i didn't feel like goin out. Since i've already turned down his offers so many time, it's only fair that i go this time. Besides, i thought that maybe we can do some catchin' ups.

Hmm..honestly, it's been a lil' awkward whenever just the two of us around. Dead silence ni baa. Bukan ndamau cakap or strike conversation but i know just what he's thinking and i'm not sure how/what to react.

I've made it clear then, and still adhering to it now.

I'm really sorry :( but if he keeps on acting like that, i'm afraid i might need to take a more drastic approach. And i don't want that to happen. palis2.

Anyhoots, we went out for dinner at Upperstar and throughout dinner, i was too preoccupied with the net connection, commenting and chatting in FB with fnfs. LMAO.

Bukan apaa, teda cerita sama dia kan, dua2 pun ndatau pa mau cakap so it'll be better if i do something else yang fun! hehehe.

K laa, better hit the sack now. Tomorrow is my last day as an intern :) Gotta get some rest now.


p.s: It's good to know that you can get along with my friends easily :)

.xx.