To The First Man In My Life.

I remember this date since always.

It reminds me of you and everything that you've given me (us).

I texted you right after it strikes 12am.

No, i didn't complaint.

I took out my stationery to make something for you.

Again, i didn't complaint.

Like a silly girl, i put on a light shade of pink lipstick coz' i don't have red ones at 2am.

Silly, yet i didn't complaint.

Trying hard not to fall asleep tho' my eyes are betraying me just to write what i wanna say to you.

Please don't feel bad. I am not complaning :)

Compared to what i have done/given you with what you've done/given me (us) throughout the years, how can i ever complaint?

With the stationery and smeared light shade of glittered pink lipstick on my lips, i've made this especially for you.





Yes, Dadi. I LOVE YOU so much! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY DEARIE.

I pray for you always and wishing you greaaatt life ahead filled with blessings and surrounded by people you love and who love you :)


I can never thank you enough.


To the first man in my life.


.xx.

It’s not the tees. It’s me.

I heart: "Sharon imisusomuch."

**************************************

Today's the last day of Sept huh?

Tomorrow is Dad's bornday. Love you
Dadi. :)

Raya 2008 falls tomorrow too.

How time flies.

Each passing day indicates that I am a step closer to home.

I am thrilled yet..afraid.

I wonder why.

I loathe it so much when I go all mellow again. Coz' when that happens, I tend to write sappy stories.

Like now.

Recently, I've been happy. Not that I wasn't happy before but, you know, just happier I guess? Or was I feelin' glad? Content?

I've always had tough times expressing what I truly feel towards a person. To have experience what I've experienced recently isn't helping at all. Well maybe it did. It helped me to build even thicker fortress. It's so thick, I feel like I am incarcerated by it.

A good buddy asked me recently.

"You really thought it's because of those shirts?"

I said yes. Though deep inside, my instinct tells me that it isn't. Or maybe that's what I wanted to believe.

But, I guess I've managed to condition myself not to be fooled twice. I had my defense up to protect myself this time. It was hard for you to gain my trust since the get-go but I guess it's even harder for me to trust or to even believe words now. Though I really really wanted to, you just have no idea. I guess you never did.

We're actually in the same boat, Bug.

You're so good when it comes to rationalizing situations. So, think for once. Why do you think i said what I've said? Why am I acting this way?

Have any of you ever been sky-high just to find yourself rocketed down and hit the ground? I did that to a person (it was never planned nor was it because of a third party) and I know it sucked coz' I got my fair share on it as well =p

As soon as you fell onto the ground, the wisest thing to do is to be proactive the next time around.

That's exactly what I am doin' Bug. You should've known better, riiiigggght? Xp

Pendek kata, I am just a silly girl who is trying to protect herself from getting' hurt, TWICE :)

Look, I apologize if I've ever disappoint or made you go berserk at times k. I did those with good reasons bukan saja ja suka2 mau buat.

I don't know whether you're gonna buy whatever shyte I write here coz' as you always like to put it, I am the ultimate LIAR, remember?

Well at least I've tried explaining.

Maybe.

Just maybe, this is why I am scared.

I just hate this feeling.

 

I am feeling down and sappy.

You get what that means?

I guess you don't.

Like always.

 

.xx.

Cousins Day Out.

I heart: "Uiks shenis ah? hmm remember dear. U r MINE! Jaga...hehehe"

***************************************************

*taps keyboard*

Cousin Kelor and i have just reached home (Shah Alam) somewhere around 2pm today. We've spent a couple of days at cousin Una's just for fun. While we were there, there weren't many things we managed to do (except for balik2 pi makan laa. Thanx Pang Ko! =p )

Below are some pics taken during our short stay in Puchong.


First night: On our way to grab something to eat. (i loike this pic!)


On our way back home from dinner (supper)

Couz Abet lemme drove the unfamiliar route back home! =p

The very next day was a Sunday. So all of us decided to go out to jalan2 cari makan. Then we went to Elianto warehouse sale xD. We took pics all the way to our destinations.

Pictures like these:

Left: Couz Kelor with baby Kaylyn on lap. Right: Couz Abet.

Yes. I know i look uber chubby there. That's because i am. *sighs*


Ako with baby Xiao Hui staring curiosly at me =/

We (the cousins) shopped like nobody's business at Elianto. But paling terer si Una jugalaa. Men banyak! LOL! We spent approx. RM200 at Elianto's. Ndala saturang baa. I mean if we total up altogether.

These are basically the stuffs we've purchased.

Girls' stuff.

What's the use of makeups if you don't put them on right? Sooo, the cousins have decided to play doll for a bit.

*chuckles*

Right after that, we did just what the oh-so-typical girl love to do. CAMWHORING! haha.

Ouh. Did i mention that, twas the longest camwhoring session i've had in my life so far! Sampai ngantuk baa. LOL! To upload just A FEW of them would be a wise thing to do. *sweats*

Muntah darah karang kamurang. Haha.

Here goes.





I guess that's all for now. Am so bloody fed-up uploading these pics.

*scratches head*



p.s: Thanx for the sunnies Bet. I'm lovin' it!

*hugs*


.xx.

I’m all psyched up and whoa-ed!

I heart: "U know wat? I was expecting fer yer msg dr td.hmmm.klah. lowbat ni. Me maybe blk umah jam 3 or 4 gitu. Me nda curang jg. Me oledi got u kan. Jajal one."

****************************************************************************

I have posted one earlier on.

So, I'm just gonna post another one just for fun. Ok?

Heck.

This is my blog anyways. I can screw with it anytime I want.

*************************

As mentioned, I'm anticipating a lot of stuffs nowadays. I get all psyched up just by the thought of graduating within few more months, our batch trip to one of the beaches, cousin day-out tomorrow, outing with sister Grace on Tuesday and lastly, I can't wait to get my hands on my…

HUGO BOSS XX PERFUME!

*does the hula dance*

Now that I've already got myself that, I'll find a way to get Victoria Secret Dream Angel Divine Eau De Parfume (I heartheartheart the smell!) but I'm not in a hurry la. I'll ask Megan to get it for me in the States.

*smiles wickedly*

HOLD ON.

I think I also need to get a pair of footwear (it can range from shoes/flipflops/heels/sandals etc. It depends heavily on the design) for an everyday wear to class (especially supaya tia kena 'tendang' keluar dari library. I know. WTF! right?)

Hangkang sudah bah the one sia slalu pakai. Hehe.

**************************

Kepada abangku, Jerry, you managed to find me (though I know it's really not that hard at all considering we're currently living in the IT era where everythingwell almost is just clicks away). Again, you found me.

Pppffttt~!

Anyways, WELCOME
jugalaa kasi kau. LOL! Ndaba. You're always welcome here *winks*

 

p.s: Abang, I've read your blog. What's with the whole "model" thingy? Muahahaha.

 

Hey cupid. Since my bro has already found out about our lil' secret talk, tulung cari his tulang rusuk also ok.

Remember, aim bagus2 k :)

 

 

.xx.

Capati Blisters.

I heart: "Hee..muax. Me mau p hug my mumi2 first."
**********************************

I was awaken today by the sound of my stomach. Growling furiously demanding to be filled with solid edible substance. Tried to ignore it tapi susah betul. So i gave up.

Couz Kelor and i went into the kitchen and tingu2 apa buli dimakan or masak. Twas very hard actually to determine what we wanted to eat. So i popped the question to her.

"Ui. Kamurang ada tepung ka?"

She casually replied while shoving a bag of what seemed to be filled with white powdery substance.

"Ada. Ni kali ni. Ui ndala. Ni tepung pulut ni."

-_____-"

Fast forward, we manage to find the flour and i prepared some simple capati-like pancake. I cooked.

Wait.

What? I CAN COOK? hahaha.

In the end, i did a pretty good job bah i think. *smiles widely* It wasn't that hard or anything like that at all. *speaks arrogantly*

Okaaay. Maybe i exaggerated a bit.

I developed blisters on the palm of my right hand and on the side of my right middle finger from holding the "sudip". The funny thing is, i was holding it for about 15-20mins tops ONLY.

-_____-"

Payah rupanya memasak ni.

Si Shahrul, our lecturer yang suka "buli" sia di class once told me that, one way to tackle a man's heart is through his stomach.

Guess i need to find someone who could stand a lousy cook for the rest of his life then.

Like, seriously.

Hey cupid. Note that one k :)

.xx.

I Got Talent.

I heart: "Wei. man say pun ilovyo?"
**************************

I actually went thru my old blog in FS. (Yes. the whole posts dated from 3 years back! LOL!) When suddenly one of the many posts i've "abandoned" so long finally caught my attention.

Maybe, just maybe mom and dad should've enrolled me into one of that special schools where they sharpen the skills of "gifted" children, like me. Coz i think i'm one of them.

PSYCHIC.

whoa! i know.

Below is part of the content i've extracted from that particular post. Please take note that this whole scenario happened 3 years back, June 8th 2005 to be exact. Jadi jangan terbingung k. Thank you.

"Ahh…i’ve always got this question stuck in my head..in the previous post i mentioned that i’ve found someone right??..well there’s no doubt about that..but..why do i feel so…insecure yet i know that i am secure with him?…like maybe will i lost him not only as a partner but as a dear friend in the future??..what if things don’t work-out like the way i(we) planned?…since i’ve got him,i feel so relieved but at the same time wonder a lot..alotta questions popped in my mind every single day..."

"...what IF this is just a phase?what IF this is all temporary?…i would hate myself for that…that’s why i am not really into commitment…afraid of gettin hurt..afraid of hurting the person u cared the most..afraid of doin’ wrong..or maybe afraid of LOSING him/her?..aarrgghh…hate it when this happens.."

The highlighted parts, have already happened. Heh. See, told you i've got talent.

Readin' what i've written years back caused me to reminisce of all the decisions i've made and taken throughout my short and very little encounter in relationship matters, throughout my life so far.

Came to think of it, semua sia yg minta clash ni. Of course on different grounds laa. Ndakan sama right?

BUT.

One thing for sure, it was never because of a third party okay. Just wanna be clear on that.

I guess, i am the one who is afraid of commitments after all huh? If this is true, then i shouldn't rush things. Somehow, i have the feeling i got talent remember? that i'd do the same thing i do "best" all over again; hurting people i care. *sighs*

I'm gonna take one step at a time this time.

Hey cupid. panah ngam2 ba next time.

.xx.

Pave Way To BBKK.

I heart: " I love skc!"
*****************

Kalau kamurang notice in the cbox (chatbox), there were several times where the "shirt" has been mentioned. Some of you may already have clear idea of makhluk apaka itu. On the other hand, certain "species" deasy and soothe kakakaka may not have any idea.

Jadi, i'd like to show the shirt which i (and couz kelor) heart heart heart so much!

[ This is the shirt la. "BuliBaKalauKau" (BBKK in short).]

[Yang ini pula adalah tuan punya shirt yg kegirangan pada waktu itu. Lantas, mensnap picha. lol!]

.xx.

MITAGI

I heart: "Mulau. Kastau bah if u jalan."
**************************

"MITAGI"


"I never thought a word i have especially designed could "haunt" me to this extent.

This word, a 6 lettered word i came up with for someone, a person whois dear to me.

It's been awhile since i "neglect" the name, just to makesure i moved on.

And it is my last wish to have people mentioning the same name infront/to me, especially not from him.

I know i should be heading miles ahead already by then. But, if you must wonder, WHY?

Coz' i think i still heart you."

*****************************************************************************

There! i've just said it. I confessed. But it doesn't mean i am taking a step back. I'm not ready to give up on myself just yet. I believe i am close to winning line.

I have to believe.

I must believe.

Frankly speaking, i'm an idiot, aren't i?

.xx.

3 Of My Favourite Things.

I heart: "Andu so nice. Ya me serious dat.. N biarlah u ckp pointless. Bg me, it doesn't matter .. I believe in love."

********************************************************************

Actually, i've posted this on my FS blog already. However, i just feel like i owe .the.twisted.parrot. its fair share on it.

Firstly, i know i’ve mention that the previous post was gonna be the end of my blog here in FS. I’m sorry, sia langgar. hehe.

Actually, i wasn’t in the mood of blogging (especially with piled up works which shud be gettin’ my #1 attention at the moment). But as i was browsing around FS, i found something. Something which made it hard not to blog about it.

Initially, i wanted to ramble about it in another blog account in blogspot. However, due to some technical problems (i can’t logged in!) and not wanting the idea/material to go to waste, i decided to blog about it here instead. Tgklaa..maybe nanti sia copy and paste this post into that account =p

As mentioned, i was browsing around in FS when i “stumbled” upon one particular picture. It’s nothing special with it to be honest, but to me, somehow i find it significant. It was that significant to me up til’ the extent of creating that mellow feeling wanting to look at it few times.
There are 3 of my favorite things summed up into one picture; the place, the person and the caption especially.

At this point of time, i knew it. I suck big time.

It’s too bad tho’ i can’t say more about it. I refuse to. I’ve gone so far and am not willing to go back to square one. Eh, ingat senang kaa?…hard work you know. *chuckles*

Okaylaa. I think i should just put an end here. Karang i go mellow2 pula. LOL!

Ouh, and another thing, i don’t wanna be the ‘just-another-girl’. Treat me like an ass (please!) for all i care. Just don’t place me at par with the rest of them. I dislike it, very, very much.

sasayka, but wants it to go away~

.xx.

Blablabla...yada².

I heart: "Ok muvie mode jap. miss u den"
*******************************

I was given a chance. Yes, a frigin' CHANCE to go back home in kk during Raya. Dadi gave me the green light. I usually would just jump to that opportunity regardless of anything at all.

BUT.

Napa sia reject?!

They say, if you really love someone (in this case it's a 'something'), you gotta set it free and if it comes back, you know it's yours.

I guess this is one of those cases. So i set that "milliondollar-worth" opportunity free and...


FEEL LIKE A MORON! and i doubt chance like this will ever come back.


Haiseehh. Skemanya sia ni ndamau skip class kunun. Since when Den? WHEN??


.xx.