For the first time since a year or two years back, here i am sitting on the same old blue-wheeled chair in the lab, updating my so-called blog. heh.
I am really suppose to do my work (i.e assignments) but i just couldn't resist myself from blogging. Which means, i have troubled thoughts. No. I mean, i'm all tangled up.
It is so very hard to do anything especially when your heart and mind are telling two diffferent thing at the same time. Yes yes. As much as i hate to admit, i still do think of him always! *sighs* You know what, it's actually would be easier if we could just act like normal friends instead of still calling me by our "pet names" (that is one funny statement kakakak). And it would be so much easier for me to get over him (which i find it still very difficult to do especially when i need/have to pretend and show him that i no longer care about the relationship and all, which i obviously still do) if he didn't say what he said last night about gettin' jelous of me gettin' waaay too close to other guys (hey come on. that shows that he actually cared, right? unlike last time which i thought he simply didn't care AT ALL!). And then, last night's call, i am both glad and dissapointed at the same time upon receiving his 'goodnight' call though it was an extremely short and simple one. The fact is, i really do miss him alot. Listening to him talk just made my day. But at the same time, it also slowly crushes my plan of getting over him =(
I am so sick of everything. Putting up a fake facade to deceive people or worst, myself. I tried to rationalize things for example trying to put myself in his situation and mine and then try to come up with one possible solution to at least resolute matters. I am sooooooo confused weii.
For today, i don't know what to do. Let's just assume i am such a suckie for even thinking of him today. Let's see what i am up to tomorrow then. *winks*
p.s: -___-" another 40mins til jane's class ends.
.xoxo.
I am really suppose to do my work (i.e assignments) but i just couldn't resist myself from blogging. Which means, i have troubled thoughts. No. I mean, i'm all tangled up.
It is so very hard to do anything especially when your heart and mind are telling two diffferent thing at the same time. Yes yes. As much as i hate to admit, i still do think of him always! *sighs* You know what, it's actually would be easier if we could just act like normal friends instead of still calling me by our "pet names" (that is one funny statement kakakak). And it would be so much easier for me to get over him (which i find it still very difficult to do especially when i need/have to pretend and show him that i no longer care about the relationship and all, which i obviously still do) if he didn't say what he said last night about gettin' jelous of me gettin' waaay too close to other guys (hey come on. that shows that he actually cared, right? unlike last time which i thought he simply didn't care AT ALL!). And then, last night's call, i am both glad and dissapointed at the same time upon receiving his 'goodnight' call though it was an extremely short and simple one. The fact is, i really do miss him alot. Listening to him talk just made my day. But at the same time, it also slowly crushes my plan of getting over him =(
I am so sick of everything. Putting up a fake facade to deceive people or worst, myself. I tried to rationalize things for example trying to put myself in his situation and mine and then try to come up with one possible solution to at least resolute matters. I am sooooooo confused weii.
For today, i don't know what to do. Let's just assume i am such a suckie for even thinking of him today. Let's see what i am up to tomorrow then. *winks*
p.s: -___-" another 40mins til jane's class ends.
.xoxo.
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spill the beans!
.xx.